Chapter 20 – How to properly establish a family (2)

“How dare a young brat interrupt when the elders of the family are speaking!?”

“Exactly! And that’s a letter from the Magistrate of Sichuan, do you even know what it concerns before you speak?”

“Look here, Family Head! Having no proper upbringing, he dares to interrupt when elders are speaking! That’s why we suggested someone from a more prestigious family…”

The scolding cries of the old geezers echoed in response to my question.

A vein throbbed at my temple.

With all their talk about proper upbringing, I was increasingly tempted to ask about their upbringing.

‘Hah, are these old farts challenging me to a verbal right now?’

I’ve never lost a single keyboard battle against the bullies who jump in during my livestreams.

Taking another step forward, I made a respectful fist-palm greeting and spoke.

This clearly called for a show of force.

‘Keyboard Battle, Chapter 1. Keep your face smiling, your voice as polite as possible, but strike with brutal facts.’

“From what I gather, you all still don’t recognize me as a son-in-law of the Sichuan Tang Family. If that’s the case, I am simply a guest.

Moreover, if I helped save the precious life of the Sichuan Tang Family’s cherished Young Miss, and captured Blood-Hand Rakshasa, Tak Wun-yang, thereby saving the life of the Tang Family Head, then that makes me a benefactor.

Is it proper etiquette in the Sichuan Tang Family to insult a guest and a benefactor like this to his face?”

At my words, Grandfather, the Family Head, and nunim all looked at me with surprised expressions.

It seemed they hadn’t expected me to come on this strong.

‘Since you say I’m not family… then all the more reason to be careful when dealing with an outsider.’

“Ah-hem.”

“Well, that’s…”

When I asked if it was right to insult a benefactor just because they didn’t consider me family, the old geezers fell silent, rendered mute like bees with honey in their mouths.

After a moment, the branch family members seemed to latch onto something else, looking incredulous as they spoke.

“But, Blood-Hand Rakshasa, Tak Wun-yang?”

“If you mean Tak Wun-yang… that’s absurd… that guy was already…”

“Perhaps the Family Head is so desperate for a son-in-law that he made up some ridiculous story with this young hero…”

-Thud.

As someone insinuated that the Family Head was making things up to keep me as his son-in-law, a book was tossed onto the table.

With a cold expression, the Family Head spoke.

“There is no falsehood in Xiaolong’s words. Here is the secret manual of Blood Water Poisonous Claws; you may verify it yourselves. I was going to bring this up, which is why I asked you all to listen.”

“Bl-Blood Water Poisonous Claws!”

“Are you saying you’ve truly retrieved that accursed manual?”

“If it’s Blood Water Poisonous Claws, then indeed!”

The branch family elders, who had doubted the story about Tak Wun-yang, rushed to the table in shock as soon as the Blood Water Poisonous Claws manual appeared.

They only had to look at the cover to gasp in astonishment.

“This, this is! The words ‘Blood Cult’ and ‘Blood Water Poisonous Claws’ written on the cover! And the letters written in blood! This is definitely the Blood Water Poisonous Claws!”

“It’s true. They say it came from the Blood Cult…”

‘Wait, was it really such a cursed book?’

As I was processing the realization that there were crazier people out there than the infamous assassins of the Sichuan Tang Family, I heard the branch family elders ask more questions.

“Then did that young hero truly defeat Tak Wun-yang?”

“And at his age, not even past twenty?”

-Tsururur!

As soon as that question ended, accompanied by a chilling sensation, a cluster of centipedes sprang from my collar.

Apparently, my prospective father-in-law had decided to show exactly how I subdued Tak Wun-yang, radiating killing intent toward me.

‘Seriously, can you please give a warning before you unleash that?’

“This, this is!”

“Yellow centipedes?”

“Those are the offspring of the Blue-Spotted Centipede. The son-in-law… ah, no, since you won’t acknowledge him as son-in-law, should I say the young hero is raising them?”

At my prospective father-in-law’s remark, I patted the heads of the centipedes and said,

“Oh, little centipedes, you mustn’t go around biting people. Otherwise, they’ll just turn black and die, just like that Blood-Hand Rakshasa.”

At the appearance of the centipedes, one of the branch family elders, who had been startled and backed away, hesitated before speaking.

“W-when did we ever say we didn’t recognize him?”

“That’s right, there’s a proper procedure for everything. We only brought it to the Family Head’s attention because those procedures were ignored.”

“Exactly. We were just hoping that you’d adhere to the procedures properly from now on.”

“Yes, yes, exactly.”

Seeing the sudden shift in attitude from the branch family elders, who now seemed to think I was worth considering as a son-in-law after the centipedes showed up, nunim wore a very cold expression.

Was she thinking they were selling her out the family for a few centipedes?

Her expression was icy, like a chill wind blowing through.

“Well, apart from the son-in-law issue. Why exactly do you refuse to entrust him with the Myriad Poison Hall?”

Trying to get things sorted one by one, Grandfather asked why they couldn’t entrust the Myriad Poison Hall to me. One of the branch family elders, after hesitating, answered in a cautious voice.

“Well, once he at least completes the marriage rites and fully becomes a member of our family, wouldn’t we be able to entrust him with it? That’s what we meant.

And even if we do entrust it to him, he’s still young not even twenty, and while the Family Head mentioned he’s knowledgeable about venomous insects and poisons, he hasn’t demonstrated anything that would convince the family members, has he?”

“That’s correct. Entrusting something as important as the Myriad Poison Hall…”

At those words, Grandfather, the Man of Ten Thousand Poisons, nodded.

It seemed he found the opinions of the branch family elders reasonable, as he smiled and spoke.

“So, what you’re saying is that you can’t entrust the Myriad Poison Hall to Xiaolong because he hasn’t shown anything that would convince the family members—is that correct?”

“Well, yes, Elder.”

“Is that so? Then, it seems everything is resolved.”

Suddenly, in the middle of listening, Grandfather declared that everything was settled.

The branch family elders blinked in confusion at Grandfather’s declaration, and Grandfather winked at me.

“Can you show your abilities in a way that will convince the family elders?”

He looked at the letter in my hand as he asked, clearly indicating whether I could handle this matter.

I had already sneaked a look at the letter over my prospective father-in-law’s shoulder earlier, and it looked manageable, so I picked it up.

I clasped my hands and responded to Grandfather.

“If you entrust it to me, I will resolve it in a way fitting for the Sichuan Tang Family, to prove that I am a person worthy of the family.”

Since this involved my hobbies, I had to resolve it in a way that would satisfy the family members.

Therefore, I intended to handle it in a distinctly Sichuan Tang Family manner.

Emphasizing that I would resolve it in the Tang Family way, Grandfather asked back with a curious expression.

“In the way of the Sichuan Tang Family? And what might that be?”

He seemed pleased with my response, smiling broadly.

I responded with a grin of my own.

“Of course, I plan to use poison.”

“Poison?”

“Poison?”

Grandfather, the Family Head, and nunim looked at me with wide eyes, surprised by my unexpected answer.

Then came the shocked voices of the branch family members.

“A-are you out of your mind!? Y-you’re planning to poison the Magistrate of Sichuan!?”

“E-Elder, poison for the Magistrate of Sichuan!?”

“Are you insane? We’re not trying to kill the Magistrate of Sichuan; we’re sending him medicine. How could you use poison in medicine meant for the Magistrate of Sichuan!?”

‘Wait, isn’t the Sichuan Tang Family all about using poison?’

The commotion in the Family Head’s hall grew louder as the branch family elders continued to raise a ruckus in shock.

***

“Xiaolong, are you really going to go through with this?”

After the commotion in the Family Head’s hall settled down, we were on our way back.

The elders had mentioned they had more to discuss, so nunim and I were walking back to the Inner Courtyard alone.

When I turned my head at the sudden sound of nunim’s voice, I saw her looking at me with a worried expression.

It seemed that my declaration to prepare the medicine for the Magistrate of Sichuan hadn’t quite reassured her; she still seemed worried.

“Please don’t worry, Young Miss. I’ll handle it well.”

I answered in a way to put her at ease, but she immediately asked another question.

This time, she looked at me with a deeply embarrassed expression and spoke hesitantly.

“Xiaolong, are you sure you… uh, fully understand what kind of medicine this is? I’m just worried that, well, you might not know the exact purpose, since you’re still young…”

‘Ah, an embarrassed nunim… delightful.’

I couldn’t help but smile, internally admiring her shy expression.

There was a reason why she looked so embarrassed. The medicine that the Magistrate of Sichuan had requested wasn’t just any ordinary medicine.

Given that he held the position of Magistrate of Sichuan, which sounded like a high-ranking post similar to a mayor, you’d think he’d be asking for some impressive medicine. But…

Actually, it was nothing of the sort. The medicine he requested was, shall we say, one to help a man ‘stand up’ properly?

Yes, the kind that doesn’t just make a man a man but a strong man.

In short, it was a treatment for erectile dysfunction, something essential for men who have trouble… rising to the occasion.

Apparently, the Magistrate of Sichuan had found himself facing this issue, though the exact reason wasn’t clear. Known not only for their reputation with poisons but also for their knowledge in medicine, he’d requested the Sichuan Tang Family, renowned in both fields, to create a treatment for his problem.

Of course, the family’s Medicine Hall had already prepared a remedy and sent it to him, but the problem was that it didn’t work very well.

Disappointed by the lack of results despite the high price he’d paid, the Magistrate sent a letter of complaint.

The branch family elders, who were handling this matter, had come to consult about it, which led to the earlier showdown with my prospective father-in-law and me.

When I volunteered to take charge of the matter, nunim felt embarrassed at the mention of it.

Understandably, as a woman, it was probably mortifying to talk about a treatment for the Magistrate’s erectile dysfunction.

“Of course, Young Miss. It’s… essential for men who… struggle to keep their heads up…”

“St-stop! I-I understand! I believe you know about it!”

Nunim covered her ears in embarrassment, quickly nodding to acknowledge that she trusted I was aware of this forbidden knowledge.

Then, placing a hand over her chest as if to calm her flustered heart, she spoke.

“You really know a lot… for someone your age, don’t you?”

“Ah? Well, yes, it’s… a little embarrassing, but…”

‘I feel like these situations keep making me seem like a bit of a troublemaker.’

I wondered if my image was falling in her eyes, but since we’d already made a future promise over one of the Ten Great Venomous Creatures, I decided to trust Nunim.

She wouldn’t just take back our promise, right?

Probably?

I thought back to the terms of our promise once more.

‘Honestly, I thought I’d have to gather all ten of those creatures, but it turns out catching just one would suffice. She’s an angel, truly.’

After finishing our conversation about the Magistrate’s medicine, we fell into a quiet silence, walking through the Inner Courtyard until we reached the rear garden.

Even though it was for a treatment, talking about such a topic left us both feeling a bit awkward…

When we arrived in front of nunim’s quarters in the inner part of the rear garden, she finally broke the silence.

This was the first thing she’d said since the discussion of that forbidden knowledge.

“I… I heard you’re planning to use poison in the medicine. If you need to enter the Myriad Poison Hall for any reason, please let me know. I’ll go in with you.”

Since I had mentioned in front of everyone at the Family Head’s hall that I’d be using poison, it seemed nunim was offering to help me acquire any poisons I might need.

It was also likely because I didn’t yet have unrestricted access to the Myriad Poison Hall, so she was volunteering to accompany me.

However, I didn’t actually need any poison from the Myriad Poison Hall.

“No, Young Miss. I don’t need any poison from the Myriad Poison Hall.”

At that, nunim tilted her head in puzzlement.

“But didn’t you say you’d be using poison? The Myriad Poison Hall may not have every poison in existence, but it does contain many.”

I responded with a smile.

“I’ll be going to catch it myself tomorrow. Would you like to join me?”

“Catch it? What exactly are you planning to catch?”

“Have you ever seen a bumblebee nest around here?”

“Bumblebee? You mean those big, chubby… those giant bees?”

“Yes, Young Miss. Those bumblebees exactly.”

In the language of the Central Plains, it’s called Xióng fēng (熊蜂).

In English, it’s known as a bumblebee.

In Korean, it’s called a hobak-beol.

Yes, tomorrow, we were planning to raid a bumblebee nest.

‘Our first date, right in front of a bumblebee nest. Truly the perfect Fabre-style date.’

***

If you find any errors or have suggestions, please feel free to provide feedback.

Thank you for reading!

[Author – 에르훗]

[Translator – bjgoofy]